When ever you find yourself in that convincing energy – you know what I am talking about (oooo and it does NOT feel good) – there is a beautiful opportunity. Likely, you are turning people off with this convincing energy, and it isn’t working. Am I right? If you feel like you have to convince people to work with you, pay your prices, likely you feel like you are working really hard, hustling, getting a lot of “nos” and probably some frustrating (or even “nightmare”) clients. Because guess what? If you are “convincing” in the sales conversation, you have to keep convincing during your contract with them. ICK! Right? But there is a solution.
Here is my “Freedom from Convincing” Template. Where after you do it, people are going to start BEING convinced you are worth it, worth your prices – without you having TO convince them.
Let’s pretend you are a health coach.
1. What do I find myself trying to convince people of?
Ex. They need to get healthier
2. What happens if they don’t do what I recommend?
Ex. They will stay overweight, in pain.
3. How will they feel?
Ex. Unfulfilled, failure, unhappy, lethargic, in pain.
4. What is the opposite of #1?
They don’t *need* to get healthier.
5. Why would someone say that? What are their objections?
They don’t want to make the sacrifices. They don’t want to give up their favorite foods, face the pain of sore muscles, expend the energy to workout. They want to spend the money on other things, they don’t want to face the emotional discomfort.
6. Why would they say that?
It is too uncomfortable to change. Scared to feel the pain of trying and failing yet again. Not trying is easier than failing.
1. Have compassion.
It IS uncomfortable to change. It is scary to maybe try and fail again.
2. Challenge them.
And….here is why it could be different this time. Here is how my program is different than trying it alone or with a friend. Here is the reality of the sacrifices you are going to have to make — they aren’t as scary as you think they are going to be. And here is the reality if you continue to do nothing (without judgment!!) or continue to try it alone, or even with a different health coach….
STAND in your expertise and their choices. Without judging what they value. Simply challenge them with what they said they wanted and what it takes to achieve that. Don’t shield them from the truth.
And dance between compassion and challenging them. Until you get to “yes” or “no”. Or, even clarify on WHAT specific information they need to make a decision.
What happens when we do this is that the ego defends its position even harder, stronger. But you cannot FAKE compassion. You have to soften your own heart to it. Which you might have resistance to. That is OK too. Have compassion for your resistance, and challenge your resistance.
You do not need to convince others of what you are not convinced of yourself. The desire to convince is pointing to your own doubt. And the doubt is pointing to a fear. Have compassion for your own fear, and challenge it. All you are looking for is wiggle room. One dance at a time. Over time, you will realize you have stopped needing to convince others because you have a knowing in your own being. And people will feel and be drawn to that knowing and confidence. You will stop attracting people who argue with you and start attracting people who want your expertise and help.
Hint: This works in other areas of your life too. Practice it in all your relationships for more peace, connection and abundance.
What have you been trying to convince your clients of? How can you have compassion and challenge them in order to get more YESES?